All teenage boys have some kind of “do not enter or else” sticker or sign on their bedroom door.

Something very very bad always happens when someone says “How bad can it be?” or “Can things get any worse?”

The man, when breaking up with a woman, will always try to tell her that it’s not her, it’s him. However, the woman has already seen every single movie like this one and will be aware of this cliché, so she replies with something like “don’t give me that”.

While crossing wobbly old rope bridges, the hero will always state “don’t look down.” Then the female will say, “too late,” prompting the wooden board she next steps on to break and she falls through, and is left dangling high above a river that’s always full of hungry, man-eating crocodiles.

Any teen comedy usually ends with a prom no matter the time of year.

If the hero is running, the henchmen’s’ machine-guns will always give off sparks behind the heroes feet and never actually hit him.

Heroes/villains, especially when wearing bulky, heavy, long black trench coats, can jump easily from rooftop to rooftop, always able to clear alleys ten to fifteen feet wide.

If a parent goes to their child’s bedroom and they are already in bed asleep, the parent will approach the bed and say something kind to the sleeping child before brushing their hair into place and kissing them on the forehead.

If there happens to be a high-rise building in an action/disaster film, you can always expect an oblivious Hispanic janitor listening to salsa on his headphones.

Millions of deaths each year are preventable, but alas, the one person who can save them has their music up so high that it drowns out all top-of-lung, bloodcurdling screams for help.

Be extremely cautious around cremation urns, because somehow it’s going to get knocked over.

If there is a dangerous man breaking into a house, only the mother and daughter will be home. The mother will then usher the child into a closet and tell her to stay there, and the closet will always have those blinds with little slits in them that the child can look through. The bad man will always approach the closet, but will never look inside before leaving.

Whenever a character is sneaking around in a movie set in the Middle Ages or in an Arab country, he always accidentally bumps into a bad guy who calls out “Guards! Guards!” About 25 guards jump out of nowhere and are carrying huge swords.

An alcoholic can always chug down a gallon of whisky without vomiting, getting really drunk, or burning their throat. He’ll chug it down, wince, and go “Aahhh!”

If there is about to be a huge disaster like an alien invasion or the world is about to be plunged into a new ice age there will always be a smart character who can see what’s going to happen well before it does, but is ignored and made fun of by everyone until its too late.

In a gunfight, the hero can hide behind any object even if it is very thin and no bullets will pass through.

In a movie with a Chinese bad guy, the guy ALWAYS hangs out in China Town and his hideout is ALWAYS in a Chinese restaurant.

If someone gets punched in the face and it gives off a large *thwack* sound, they usually remain conscious whereas if they are karate chopped in the back of the neck, they will be out cold for hours.

The hero may get shot in the arm at the very end.

If a number of people are knocked out with gas or otherwise, they will all wake up at approximately the same time.

As soon as a beautiful actress makes herself ugly, plain, fatter or into a man, she will win an Oscar

Whenever a character goes and meets someone at a bar, they order a drink but always leave before they get it or don’t drink it.

Women who get wet will always be wearing a white shirt.

In army films there is ALWAYS a character called Kawalsky.